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When a child seems to be struggling, it can be hard to know where to start. Noting changes and seeking a suitable local assessment are helpful first steps.

A worrying time for families

Noticing that your child seems unhappy, withdrawn or unusually anxious can be deeply unsettling. Many parents and grandparents feel unsure which service to contact, or how to put into words what has changed. Please know that seeking advice is a loving response, not an overreaction.

A helpful first step is to write down what you have observed and then ask an appropriate professional about a local assessment for young people. Services designed for adults may not suit children, so it is important not to assume they will.

Noticing and noting changes

Consider keeping simple notes for a week or two about:

• sleep, appetite and energy;
• school attendance, schoolwork and friendships;
• changes in behaviour, mood or interests;
• anything your child says about how they feel.

Share these observations with your GP, a paediatrician, the school counsellor or another suitable local health professional. They can help identify the right child and adolescent services. If your child talks about harming themselves or you fear for their safety, contact emergency services or a crisis line immediately.

Talking with Christine

Dr Christine Shen, Acupuncturist, is qualified in psychotherapy and sees families for counselling at the Freshwater clinic. If you would like to discuss support with her, it is wise to ask openly about age suitability, how parents or carers would be involved and whether a specialist child assessment should come first. In some situations, Christine may recommend a service that is better matched to your child's age and needs.

Every child deserves care that fits who they are. Matching support to a young person's stage of life, family circumstances and particular difficulties matters far more than speed.

Looking after yourself matters too. Parents and carers often carry quiet worry for a long time. Talking with someone you trust, whether a friend, your GP or a counsellor, can help you stay steady while you support your child through this time.