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Infertility can bring a heavy load of grief, self-criticism and shame. Many people quietly ask themselves what they did wrong. A 2026 review led from Australia looked at whether being kinder to yourself, known as self-compassion, is linked to better emotional wellbeing for women facing infertility. The findings were encouraging but varied, and they say nothing about what causes infertility or whether feeling better changes the chance of pregnancy.

What the researchers did

The review was published on 4 August 2026 in Cogent Mental Health by researchers at Edith Cowan University, Adelaide University and a Western Australian women's hospital. They followed Joanna Briggs Institute methods and reporting guidelines for systematic reviews. They searched six databases, including Medline, Embase and PsycINFO, from the start of each to November 2024, and checked the quality of each study with a standard appraisal tool. Several reviewers screened studies, and two extracted the data.

Sixteen studies qualified: seven intervention studies with 591 women, and nine cross-sectional studies with about 3,005 participants. A cross-sectional study takes a snapshot of how people are at one time, and so it can show a link but not that one thing leads to another. The intervention studies tested programmes of about six to ten sessions, such as self-compassion training or mindfulness-based programmes, mostly in person but one online. Most were compared with usual care or a waitlist.

What they found

In the intervention studies, the programmes were followed by lower depression, anxiety, shame and feelings of defeat. They were also followed by gains in self-compassion, wellbeing, quality of life, self-efficacy (confidence in coping), emotion regulation and coping strategies. Not every study measured every outcome, and not every result was the same: one study found no significant change in overall self-compassion, even though self-judgement fell.

In the cross-sectional studies, higher self-compassion was associated with lower fertility-related stress and better psychological outcomes. For example, individual studies linked it with fewer depressive symptoms, and some linked it with greater hope or personal growth. These are associations. People who are feeling better may find it easier to be kind to themselves, and the reverse may also be true.

The review did not combine the results statistically, because the studies were too different in design, intervention and outcomes. Pregnancy was reported in only a couple of the intervention studies, with mixed results, and these were small studies that did not set out to test whether a programme changes fertility. The review's focus was emotional health, not conception, and its results do not suggest that self-compassion leads to pregnancy.

The authors concluded that self-compassion approaches, including education-based ones, may support psychological health and resilience, and that they might be built into fertility counselling and support. They also said more refinement is needed before routine use.

What this does and does not show

This review shows that, across a mix of small studies, self-compassion tends to go along with lower distress. It does not show that stress, attitude or lack of positivity causes infertility, and it gives no support for the idea that someone who feels low has hurt their own chances. Infertility is not a personal failing. Points to bear in mind:

• The studies were small, designed in different ways and often followed up for only a short time. The authors say publication bias may have made programmes look more effective than they are.
• Only English-language studies were included, and they came from a limited number of countries. The programmes were also designed within specific cultural and religious contexts, so the results may not carry over to every community or to Australian clinics.
• Several intervention studies were not randomised, and most results were self-reported.
• Men and gender-diverse people were under-represented, so the review speaks mainly about women's experience.
• Nobody can tell from the review which kind of programme works best, how many sessions are needed or who benefits most.

You do not need to use any formal programme to be kind to yourself, and nothing here should be read as a demand to think positively. Grief and frustration are reasonable responses to a hard situation, and support can take many forms, from friends to counselling.

This article is general education, not medical or psychological advice. If your distress feels unmanageable, please talk with your doctor or a mental health professional. In Australia you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or 000 in an emergency.

Questions to ask

• When I notice harsh thoughts about my body or my history, what could I say to myself that I would say to a friend in the same situation?
• What kind of support, whether counselling, a peer group or time with someone I trust, would help me feel less alone right now?
• Does my clinic offer counselling or can they refer me, and how will I know if my low mood needs more than self-help?

Source: The influence of self-compassion on the mental health and well-being of women experiencing infertility: a systematic review DOI: 10.1080/28324765.2026.2711571

AI-generated editorial illustration. The scene is fictional and does not depict a study participant or demonstrate treatment effectiveness. This article summarises published research in our own words and is general information, not personal health advice.